Me Love You No Time

Greetings from Bangkok. I got back here tonight, and I'll be leaving for Hong Kong tomorrow afternoon.

Last night, I went out to Bangla Road in Patong Beach, but I forgot to take pictures. :( It was quite an interesting scene with all the hookers and ladyboys (drag queens). The ladyboys are gorgeous. Thai men make better women than Thai women. I ended up getting really drunk because the Thai bargirls seemed to think I was one of them and kept telling guys to buy me drinks. Uhm...yeah, I'm not a professional. Maintaining amateur status so I can compete in the Olympics.

The whole Asian whore thing is so weird. I mean, I'm used to hookers. The are I lived in Hollywood for two years is the pick up spot for black transvestite hookers. But, it was strange being in Bangla because white people think all Asians look alike, so I was paranoid that they thought I was a working girl, too. I made sure to dress fairly conservative, but you never know what's going through dirty old white guys' minds. A guy came up to me and asked how to tell his Thai whore to stay two nights. Uhm...love me VERY long time? It's hilarious because the whole "me love you long time" is actually true. Apparantly, the girls have two rates: short time and long time, short time usually being about 1,000 baht ($30). There are SO many girls who do this for a living. It's crazy! I heard that the girls ask their "boyfriends" for their email addresses before they leave and then they email them constantly for months after asking for money because their mother/father/sister/elephant is dying.

Also, the drinking game here is weird. It involves hammering a nail into a block of wood. I have terrible hand-eye coordination, so I sucked at it.

I took a taxi back to Kata Beach at 3am and in front of my hotel, there were some local Thai boys drinking beer in front of a closed restaurant, so I just joined them. They were really nice, but couldn't pronounce "Jennifer." It was really sad because one of the guys was saying how he graduated from university a year ago with a degree in communications, but there are no jobs in Thailand so he's working on a night staff for a hotel. :(

Anyhow, spent all of today hungover and almost missed by flight to Bangkok, but they let me on, so I made it back. Tonight is Buddha's birthday or something so all bars are closed. Happy Birthday, Buddha.