Greetings from Bangkok. I got back here tonight, and I'll be leaving for Hong Kong tomorrow afternoon.
Last night, I went out to Bangla Road in Patong Beach, but I forgot to take pictures. :( It was quite an interesting scene with all the hookers and ladyboys (drag queens). The ladyboys are gorgeous. Thai men make better women than Thai women. I ended up getting really drunk because the Thai bargirls seemed to think I was one of them and kept telling guys to buy me drinks. Uhm...yeah, I'm not a professional. Maintaining amateur status so I can compete in the Olympics.
The whole Asian whore thing is so weird. I mean, I'm used to hookers. The are I lived in Hollywood for two years is the pick up spot for black transvestite hookers. But, it was strange being in Bangla because white people think all Asians look alike, so I was paranoid that they thought I was a working girl, too. I made sure to dress fairly conservative, but you never know what's going through dirty old white guys' minds. A guy came up to me and asked how to tell his Thai whore to stay two nights. Uhm...love me VERY long time? It's hilarious because the whole "me love you long time" is actually true. Apparantly, the girls have two rates: short time and long time, short time usually being about 1,000 baht ($30). There are SO many girls who do this for a living. It's crazy! I heard that the girls ask their "boyfriends" for their email addresses before they leave and then they email them constantly for months after asking for money because their mother/father/sister/elephant is dying.
Also, the drinking game here is weird. It involves hammering a nail into a block of wood. I have terrible hand-eye coordination, so I sucked at it.
I took a taxi back to Kata Beach at 3am and in front of my hotel, there were some local Thai boys drinking beer in front of a closed restaurant, so I just joined them. They were really nice, but couldn't pronounce "Jennifer." It was really sad because one of the guys was saying how he graduated from university a year ago with a degree in communications, but there are no jobs in Thailand so he's working on a night staff for a hotel. :(
Anyhow, spent all of today hungover and almost missed by flight to Bangkok, but they let me on, so I made it back. Tonight is Buddha's birthday or something so all bars are closed. Happy Birthday, Buddha.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Phuket - Crazy Nails & James Bond Island
So I left for Phuket on Wednesday morning. I almost missed by flight because my alarm didn't go off, but Mr. Thai taxi driver dude put the pedal to the metal and got me to the airport just in time. It was kinda scary because there weren't any seatbelts in the cab.
And then I arrived in Phuket. I'm usually a planner when it comes to my travels. I always know where I'm going to stay, what I'm going to do, but I couldn't decide where to stay in Phuket, so I just showed up. I ended up checking in at Duangjitt Resort in Patong Beach, which turned out to be a mistake. Patong Beach, famous for the prostitutes, is horrible. It's so crowded and city-like which was not what I wanted. I was thinking I'd do city stuff in Bangkok and lie on the beach and read books in Phuket...get a tan, you know. Patong is a shitty version of Bangkok that is next to the beach. The hotel was also horrible.
The shore.
So I just walked along the beach, walked around town, and found a place to get a mani/pedi because I desperately needed one. Thing is, it's not as cheap as you'd think. Acrylics cost about 1000 baht, which is about $30. In the U.S., it's only about $20! You gotta appreciate our Vietnamese nail people! They might talk shit on you in Vietnamese, but they get the job done cheap and quick! So I opted not to do acryllics and just got a regular mani/pedi.
And look what I did:
The girl asked me if I wanted "flower on my nail." And it didn't cost extra like it does at home, so I thought, why the hell not, and then she put little flowers on EVERY SINGLE TOE AND FINGER! Hahahaha. It looks so super tacky, but I love it! It's so Phuket.
Don't be hating on my super cool nails. You know you're jealous!
The next day, I got out of Patong as fast as I could and relocated to Kata Beach, which is further south. Crazy thing was, it was pouring rain in Patong, but while driving to Kata Beach, we cross this one point and suddenly, it wasn't raining. The clouds were just directly over Patong Beach and Kata Beach, which is about 10 minutes away, was bright and sunny. The hotel I picked in Kata was so much nicer, right next to the beach, and about half the price. Kata is also a lot quieter and beach-like rather than a shitty Bangkok on the sand.
I spent the day laying out in the sun by the hotel pool. And then the sun moved so I moved with it to the beach and fell asleep on the beach. Went for a quick dip in the ocean, which was fantastic. And then just strolled along the beach and stuff. Then got a massage where a little Thai lady who was much stronger than she looked bruised the shit out of me. Overall, it was just a really nice, relaxing day...the way beaches should be. There are no pictures because I was running around all day in a bikini, which I would never do at home, but here, I don't know anyone so I don't care. But yeah, I would NEVER impose the sight of me in a bikini on my loved ones, so you'll never see that on this site. Rest assured.
Today I signed up to go on a tour to some place called "James Bond Island." I had no clue what it was, but I read online that it's a must-do and figured what the hell since it was raining and so couldn't lay out of the beach anyhow. So I went on this bus tour that took us to the mainland of Thailand to a place called Phang Nga Bay.
First they look us to Wat Suwannakuha, which is another Buddha. So many Buddhas and Buddhist shrines and shrines to the Thai king all over this country. This Buddha is in this crazy cave and there's monkeys in front of the entrance.
Entrance to Monkey Temple.
Yet another Buddha.
Me in the cave. It smelled in there.
Monkey eating a banana I gave him. It's so cool how they peel them.
Me and another monkey. Monkeys still remind me of John Hyun to this day. It's funny how you end up correlating certain things with certain people.
Then we got on this boat and went around the bay towards James Bond Island. Phang Nga Bay has all these little mountain islands...
And then we stopped at this fishing village for lunch.
Koh Pannyi fishing village. This place is like a series of poorly constructed buildings on stilts. It smells SO bad in there and it just looks so improvished, but it's so cool.
There's chickens running around on the ground below the buildings. I think my lunch came from there.
I think the village had to be rebuilt after the tsunami. The tour guide said something about the tsunami and this village, but his English was really bad and I couldn't understand.
And then we arrived at James Bond Island where we were charged 200 baht to sit on a bench under a thatched roof to avoid the rain. There was nothing here except this little island
And this leaning wall.
I think it's called James Bond Island because one of the old James Bond movies had some scenes here or something. They played the movie on the bus, but I didn't really watch it.
This is some grotto we went under.
YAY! So I'm caught up with my blogging. I'll try to stay on top of it over the next two months of traveling. Stay tuned.
And then I arrived in Phuket. I'm usually a planner when it comes to my travels. I always know where I'm going to stay, what I'm going to do, but I couldn't decide where to stay in Phuket, so I just showed up. I ended up checking in at Duangjitt Resort in Patong Beach, which turned out to be a mistake. Patong Beach, famous for the prostitutes, is horrible. It's so crowded and city-like which was not what I wanted. I was thinking I'd do city stuff in Bangkok and lie on the beach and read books in Phuket...get a tan, you know. Patong is a shitty version of Bangkok that is next to the beach. The hotel was also horrible.
The shore.
So I just walked along the beach, walked around town, and found a place to get a mani/pedi because I desperately needed one. Thing is, it's not as cheap as you'd think. Acrylics cost about 1000 baht, which is about $30. In the U.S., it's only about $20! You gotta appreciate our Vietnamese nail people! They might talk shit on you in Vietnamese, but they get the job done cheap and quick! So I opted not to do acryllics and just got a regular mani/pedi.
And look what I did:
The girl asked me if I wanted "flower on my nail." And it didn't cost extra like it does at home, so I thought, why the hell not, and then she put little flowers on EVERY SINGLE TOE AND FINGER! Hahahaha. It looks so super tacky, but I love it! It's so Phuket.
Don't be hating on my super cool nails. You know you're jealous!
The next day, I got out of Patong as fast as I could and relocated to Kata Beach, which is further south. Crazy thing was, it was pouring rain in Patong, but while driving to Kata Beach, we cross this one point and suddenly, it wasn't raining. The clouds were just directly over Patong Beach and Kata Beach, which is about 10 minutes away, was bright and sunny. The hotel I picked in Kata was so much nicer, right next to the beach, and about half the price. Kata is also a lot quieter and beach-like rather than a shitty Bangkok on the sand.
I spent the day laying out in the sun by the hotel pool. And then the sun moved so I moved with it to the beach and fell asleep on the beach. Went for a quick dip in the ocean, which was fantastic. And then just strolled along the beach and stuff. Then got a massage where a little Thai lady who was much stronger than she looked bruised the shit out of me. Overall, it was just a really nice, relaxing day...the way beaches should be. There are no pictures because I was running around all day in a bikini, which I would never do at home, but here, I don't know anyone so I don't care. But yeah, I would NEVER impose the sight of me in a bikini on my loved ones, so you'll never see that on this site. Rest assured.
Today I signed up to go on a tour to some place called "James Bond Island." I had no clue what it was, but I read online that it's a must-do and figured what the hell since it was raining and so couldn't lay out of the beach anyhow. So I went on this bus tour that took us to the mainland of Thailand to a place called Phang Nga Bay.
First they look us to Wat Suwannakuha, which is another Buddha. So many Buddhas and Buddhist shrines and shrines to the Thai king all over this country. This Buddha is in this crazy cave and there's monkeys in front of the entrance.
Entrance to Monkey Temple.
Yet another Buddha.
Me in the cave. It smelled in there.
Monkey eating a banana I gave him. It's so cool how they peel them.
Me and another monkey. Monkeys still remind me of John Hyun to this day. It's funny how you end up correlating certain things with certain people.
Then we got on this boat and went around the bay towards James Bond Island. Phang Nga Bay has all these little mountain islands...
And then we stopped at this fishing village for lunch.
Koh Pannyi fishing village. This place is like a series of poorly constructed buildings on stilts. It smells SO bad in there and it just looks so improvished, but it's so cool.
There's chickens running around on the ground below the buildings. I think my lunch came from there.
I think the village had to be rebuilt after the tsunami. The tour guide said something about the tsunami and this village, but his English was really bad and I couldn't understand.
And then we arrived at James Bond Island where we were charged 200 baht to sit on a bench under a thatched roof to avoid the rain. There was nothing here except this little island
And this leaning wall.
I think it's called James Bond Island because one of the old James Bond movies had some scenes here or something. They played the movie on the bus, but I didn't really watch it.
This is some grotto we went under.
YAY! So I'm caught up with my blogging. I'll try to stay on top of it over the next two months of traveling. Stay tuned.
Bang Cock
Okay, I'm the worst blogger in the world (literally). I know I'm really behind on the whole blogging thing. I'm in Phuket right now, and I'm finally finished with Warsaw. :P Hopefully, I can finish Bangkok tonight and be almost caught up. I'm having a great time, though.
So I arrived in Bangkok late Monday afternoon. I had a great flight because I made two new friends. I was waiting in line at Heathrow airport, and I had WAY too much crap and the guy behind me had a little bag so he offerred to check in with me so I could use his excess baggage allowance. YAY! So I didn't have to pay. But that also ended up with us being seated together. Also sitting with us was Alex, who is the greatest Aussie chick and we ended up having a nice flight talking about how they were going to sell me into prostitution.
Anyhow, the hotel I picked in Bangkok turned out fantastic. And when I ventured out on Tuesday morning, I discovered I'm right across the street from Bangkok's Koreatown! I was a bit confused though, because Korea's later on my itinerary.
Bangkok Ktown.
I took the Skytrain into Siam where...shamefully, I went shopping. I don't know how I'm gonna get all my shit around the world because I keep buying more and more shit. But hey...I am my grandmother's granddaughter. Skytrain's cool because rather than underground, it's above the traffic. We should get these in LA!
Grand Royal Palace. I know I said I'd scream if I went to another royal palace, but this one's different from the European ones so I made an exception.
The place is amazing. There's so much detail and little mirrors and mosiacs and gold-plating and gemstones.
You're not allowed inside with shorts on or your shoulders exposed. So I had to borrow this ugly green sarong and whenever my shirt would slip off my shoulders (since it's designed like that), the guards would yell at me. Apparantly, Buddha doesn't like shoulders. You're also not allowed to point your feet at him. Jesus is SO low-maintenance compared to Buddha and Mohammad, no?
Emerald Buddha.
These guards are like the Buckingham Palace ones that arn't allowed to move or smile. These Thai schoolgirls were saying stuff and posing with him and making him crack up though. It was hilarious. The Thai schoolgirls are required to wear white shirts and black skirts as uniforms, but in the proud tradition of bad schoolgirls across the world, these girls skanked theirs up by wearing short black miniskirts with high heels and fake designer handbags.
I actually got him to crack up in the picture. YAY ME!
After the palace, I walked around and got lost and I ended up at the port.
Which was called "Tha Chang" which I thought was cool, because I'm Tha Chang too! :D There's a beer called Chang, too.
Pad Thai in Thailand. I went a little red pepper crazy since I'm so excited they even have pepper after living in London where spicy food is practically illegal. The Thai food here is good, but nothing beats Pink Pepper! (The Thai place I ordered from when I lived in Hollywood...if you've ever been to my house, you know it well. Elaine nods...)
I went to Wat Pho to see the Reclining Buddha, aka the Lazy Buddha.
My sister wouldn't like him because he has no belly button...
And huge Paris Hilton feet!
At the temples, you pay 20 baht and they give you a bowl with coins and you're supposed to go along the row of bowls and drop one in each one. It makes nice little "ting" noises. I kept some of the coins for my foreign coin collection. I don't know if that means Buddha will curse me or something...
After Wat Pho, I went outside to get a tuk-tuk to go to Khao San, but the driver convinced me I had more to see and he said he'd take me to all of them for just 100 baht (about $3). I was suspicious but thought why the hell not. I love tuk-tuks. I think they're fantastic. Riding in air-conditioned taxis makes you feel isolated from the city, whereas in tuk-tuks you breath in all the crap air and have all the noise and stuff. Also, tuk-tuks are motorized, so I don't feel like a terrible person like when I'm in rickshaws in China where the poor Chinese boy is peddling a bicycle. It makes me feel like such a lazy bastard, whereas tuk-tuks don't require the physical labor so I don't have to feel bad for the driver.
So tuk-tuk driver guy took me to Big Buddha...
And to Happy Buddha (?)...
And to Lucky Buddha. Which is where I found out why it was so cheap. There's a guy who waits at Lucky Buddha and once you go there, he tells you this whole story about how he's in Bangkok because he just got married and he's buying his wife a ring because some gemstore has a sale that's ending today...blahblahblah. Then he convinces you that you should go there, too. I fell for it, but on the way, I read about gemstore scams in my TimeOut guide and realized that's what's going on. So I went inside, pretended to browse, and then came back out. The tuk-tuk driver asked me if I'd do it again at another gemstore because if he takes me there and I pretend to shop for at least 10 minutes, he gets a voucher for free gas. I figured, why the hell not since at least he was honest about it. So I went there and walked around for 10 minutes pretending to be interested in various objects until at the end, I say "I'll think about it!" and leave. My tuk-tuk dude got his free gas. YAY! He ended up driving me around for like 2 hours...which was fun because I saw most of the old part of the city and he was a good guide.
So then I went to Khao San, which is a shopping street. I went because I knew there was a Starbucks there and I wanted to get my Bangkok city mug. (I collect them.) There was a bar called Sunset Street, which I figured is a nod to Sunset Blvd back at home, so I sat down to have a beer and ended up drinking all night with some Dutch people. Dutch people are generally awesome. I've never met a mean Dutch person or one who doesn't speak at least some English.
My Dutch boys.
Me and Jerry.
So that was Bangkok! I'm catching up...
I'm an idiot and I sat outside on my balcony while writing this and didn't drink any beer tonight so I've just gotten like 10 mosquito bites. DRINK BEER! Beer keeps away the mosquitos because they don't like alcohol. Realize what a sacrifice I've made for ya'll?
So I arrived in Bangkok late Monday afternoon. I had a great flight because I made two new friends. I was waiting in line at Heathrow airport, and I had WAY too much crap and the guy behind me had a little bag so he offerred to check in with me so I could use his excess baggage allowance. YAY! So I didn't have to pay. But that also ended up with us being seated together. Also sitting with us was Alex, who is the greatest Aussie chick and we ended up having a nice flight talking about how they were going to sell me into prostitution.
Anyhow, the hotel I picked in Bangkok turned out fantastic. And when I ventured out on Tuesday morning, I discovered I'm right across the street from Bangkok's Koreatown! I was a bit confused though, because Korea's later on my itinerary.
Bangkok Ktown.
I took the Skytrain into Siam where...shamefully, I went shopping. I don't know how I'm gonna get all my shit around the world because I keep buying more and more shit. But hey...I am my grandmother's granddaughter. Skytrain's cool because rather than underground, it's above the traffic. We should get these in LA!
Grand Royal Palace. I know I said I'd scream if I went to another royal palace, but this one's different from the European ones so I made an exception.
The place is amazing. There's so much detail and little mirrors and mosiacs and gold-plating and gemstones.
You're not allowed inside with shorts on or your shoulders exposed. So I had to borrow this ugly green sarong and whenever my shirt would slip off my shoulders (since it's designed like that), the guards would yell at me. Apparantly, Buddha doesn't like shoulders. You're also not allowed to point your feet at him. Jesus is SO low-maintenance compared to Buddha and Mohammad, no?
Emerald Buddha.
These guards are like the Buckingham Palace ones that arn't allowed to move or smile. These Thai schoolgirls were saying stuff and posing with him and making him crack up though. It was hilarious. The Thai schoolgirls are required to wear white shirts and black skirts as uniforms, but in the proud tradition of bad schoolgirls across the world, these girls skanked theirs up by wearing short black miniskirts with high heels and fake designer handbags.
I actually got him to crack up in the picture. YAY ME!
After the palace, I walked around and got lost and I ended up at the port.
Which was called "Tha Chang" which I thought was cool, because I'm Tha Chang too! :D There's a beer called Chang, too.
Pad Thai in Thailand. I went a little red pepper crazy since I'm so excited they even have pepper after living in London where spicy food is practically illegal. The Thai food here is good, but nothing beats Pink Pepper! (The Thai place I ordered from when I lived in Hollywood...if you've ever been to my house, you know it well. Elaine nods...)
I went to Wat Pho to see the Reclining Buddha, aka the Lazy Buddha.
My sister wouldn't like him because he has no belly button...
And huge Paris Hilton feet!
At the temples, you pay 20 baht and they give you a bowl with coins and you're supposed to go along the row of bowls and drop one in each one. It makes nice little "ting" noises. I kept some of the coins for my foreign coin collection. I don't know if that means Buddha will curse me or something...
After Wat Pho, I went outside to get a tuk-tuk to go to Khao San, but the driver convinced me I had more to see and he said he'd take me to all of them for just 100 baht (about $3). I was suspicious but thought why the hell not. I love tuk-tuks. I think they're fantastic. Riding in air-conditioned taxis makes you feel isolated from the city, whereas in tuk-tuks you breath in all the crap air and have all the noise and stuff. Also, tuk-tuks are motorized, so I don't feel like a terrible person like when I'm in rickshaws in China where the poor Chinese boy is peddling a bicycle. It makes me feel like such a lazy bastard, whereas tuk-tuks don't require the physical labor so I don't have to feel bad for the driver.
So tuk-tuk driver guy took me to Big Buddha...
And to Happy Buddha (?)...
And to Lucky Buddha. Which is where I found out why it was so cheap. There's a guy who waits at Lucky Buddha and once you go there, he tells you this whole story about how he's in Bangkok because he just got married and he's buying his wife a ring because some gemstore has a sale that's ending today...blahblahblah. Then he convinces you that you should go there, too. I fell for it, but on the way, I read about gemstore scams in my TimeOut guide and realized that's what's going on. So I went inside, pretended to browse, and then came back out. The tuk-tuk driver asked me if I'd do it again at another gemstore because if he takes me there and I pretend to shop for at least 10 minutes, he gets a voucher for free gas. I figured, why the hell not since at least he was honest about it. So I went there and walked around for 10 minutes pretending to be interested in various objects until at the end, I say "I'll think about it!" and leave. My tuk-tuk dude got his free gas. YAY! He ended up driving me around for like 2 hours...which was fun because I saw most of the old part of the city and he was a good guide.
So then I went to Khao San, which is a shopping street. I went because I knew there was a Starbucks there and I wanted to get my Bangkok city mug. (I collect them.) There was a bar called Sunset Street, which I figured is a nod to Sunset Blvd back at home, so I sat down to have a beer and ended up drinking all night with some Dutch people. Dutch people are generally awesome. I've never met a mean Dutch person or one who doesn't speak at least some English.
My Dutch boys.
Me and Jerry.
So that was Bangkok! I'm catching up...
I'm an idiot and I sat outside on my balcony while writing this and didn't drink any beer tonight so I've just gotten like 10 mosquito bites. DRINK BEER! Beer keeps away the mosquitos because they don't like alcohol. Realize what a sacrifice I've made for ya'll?
Harry Potter and the Too Many Pints
So I spent one night in London after Warsaw before Thailand. And that happened to be the day the last Harry Potter book hit the stands! I wasn't there to pick up the book at midnight, but I prepurchased my book at Waterstone's and went to pick it up. My friend Chris and I went pub-crawling since it was raining and had a Harry Potter reading contest. It was unfair because he had a 15-page headstart, but I managed to catch up by sending him to get another round of pints.
Coolest thing was...there's a part in the book where Harry Potter, Hermione, and Ron go to Tottenham Court Road, and when we got to that part, we were on Tottenham Court Road, too! I think I saw them, but maybe that was the beers...
I SEE YOU!
EVERYONE in London was reading Harry Potter. At Sainsbury's, on the Tube, at Heathrow Airport, at the cash machines, Starbucks, etc. It's a much bigger deal there than at home.
I kind of cheated though, because I read the last chapter before I started the book because I wanted to make sure Harry Potter doesn't die. I wouldn't want to read it if he did. Haha...see, I just killed it for you. I'm so evil. Yes, and I try to kick pigeons.
Anyhow, note to Chris: "We'll always have Tottenham Court Road."
Coolest thing was...there's a part in the book where Harry Potter, Hermione, and Ron go to Tottenham Court Road, and when we got to that part, we were on Tottenham Court Road, too! I think I saw them, but maybe that was the beers...
I SEE YOU!
EVERYONE in London was reading Harry Potter. At Sainsbury's, on the Tube, at Heathrow Airport, at the cash machines, Starbucks, etc. It's a much bigger deal there than at home.
I kind of cheated though, because I read the last chapter before I started the book because I wanted to make sure Harry Potter doesn't die. I wouldn't want to read it if he did. Haha...see, I just killed it for you. I'm so evil. Yes, and I try to kick pigeons.
Anyhow, note to Chris: "We'll always have Tottenham Court Road."
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